A part of being a good writer is the ability to move outside oneself and see oneself as others do. There are days when I ask myself: Do they even know who I really am? Or do they see me as someone that I'm not? Have they bothered to try to get past the first layer of my personality, or are they under a misapprehension that what they see is what they get?
These questions lead me to ask myself: Who the hell am I anyway? Who am I under all of the innocence, love, giggles and happy happy joy joy? Am I really a nice person, or am I a bitch in disguise? Maybe I am somewhere in between. Under all the sweetness and light there is a darkness: a cold, cruel, and sadistic side of me that most people don't see, or don't want to see, or see, but don't want to admit is really there.
I only look sweet and innocent.
I enjoy making people uncomfortable. Watching people squirm is satisfying for me in a way.
Avenue Q labeled this schadenfreude
There is a Japanese term for this, called yanderi (spelling?).
These questions lead me to ask myself: Who the hell am I anyway? Who am I under all of the innocence, love, giggles and happy happy joy joy? Am I really a nice person, or am I a bitch in disguise? Maybe I am somewhere in between. Under all the sweetness and light there is a darkness: a cold, cruel, and sadistic side of me that most people don't see, or don't want to see, or see, but don't want to admit is really there.
I only look sweet and innocent.
I enjoy making people uncomfortable. Watching people squirm is satisfying for me in a way.
Avenue Q labeled this schadenfreude
There is a Japanese term for this, called yanderi (spelling?).
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