Naked

Last night I publicized my blog. First, I told my good and most bestest friend Matt. I was afraid to share with anyone else. He, being that it is his ultimate goal in life to pull me out of his shadow- figuratively and literally (I am 5' tall and he is, from my diminutive perspective, 10' tall.- in reality I think he is 6'3" or 6'4")- shared the link with everyone he knew and so, then of course, that meant that I had to do the same...  So, all of a sudden I get messages from former co-workers through Matt that they love my blog. Yeah.

I feel naked. I feel naked, very naked in front of the whole entire world- even if that world is the thirty or forty people that will read it. I suppose I will get over it.  It is like performing or theatre, only this time there aren't any spotlights and someone else hasn't written the lines or music. This time it is all me.  God, I hope I don't forget the refrain.

I wonder how people do it, the really famous people I mean.  Where does Lady Gaga go to find solutions for her inhibitions, where does she (he? I've heard rumors.) get the nerve, nay the balls (again I have heard rumors), to prance around nearly naked? How do they do it?  Is it an act? Are they someone completey different underneath that guise of overt and raw sexuality.  Are Lady Gaga and the like really mousy, shy individuals who, when at home, wear turtlenecks and long pants that hide almost any trace of skin?  I envy their bravery.  I envy their ability to love what they do and do it in front of the whole world with out any shame or fear apparent fear of the public saying, "Oh, God. Will you put on some pants?! For the love of all that is decent! Some pants!" Of course there are different levels of naked.  There is the Lady Gaga naked, and Madonna, and others throughout music history.

Then there is the naked in body and soul.Take this gentleman below:

Some of you may know this man, some won't. This is Bono, he is the lead singer for U2. At every concert he tears his heart out of his body and presents it to the fans as a gift. He is in nearly every sense of the word standing there in front of 40,000 people and singing naked.  He is a force to be reckoned with. Oh, to be that uninhibited. He is more than happy to share his full self with the world.  He may parse off a part of himself that he shares only with family and close friends- I'm sure his wife and children and the rest of the band see an entire different side of him that we do. But then his fans are like a family, too; he exposes himself to us with every syllable he sings. You can hear it in his voice, his words; you can see it in the ecstasy on his face, the movements of his body as he bends double to tear his voice apart and wail that "we've got to carry each other." He truly is naked. Some may say, "but doesn't he play characters? Remember MacPhisto?"  And my answer is yes, but any actor or performer worth their salt brings a large chunk of their own persona and selves into the characters that they are protraying.  This is what makes us truly interesting- we aren't flat, we are complicated beings.  To illustrate: in the movie Shrek, Shrek is describing himself as an onion. Not because he smells, but because, he, like the onion, has layers. Think about that for a moment.  It is a good analogy. Humans are like onions, yes, some smell like onions, but the bulk is that humans are layered. There is the tough outer skin that gets pulled away to reveal layers of sweet and spicy crunchiness underneath. Bono, in his Bono-ness, peels that skin away and shows us his very soul, his desires, his fears, his lust, his hopes and dreams for love and eternity.  Oh, to be that brave, that confident, that open...

I guess what I am saying is: I'm here, I'm sharing with the world, I'm frightened that the world won't like me. But, you know what, there are harder things in life to deal with. I'll get over it, I'll adapt. I usually do.

I hope you like me.